IN NOVEMBER 2023, a former special constable was arrested and handcuffed in his home by six police officers armed with batons and pepper spray after he issued a warning on X about the threat of anti-Semitism in Britain.
As Julian Foulkes was being detained, one of the intruders remarked that his home contained some ‘very Brexity things’.
To avoid the fate of Mr Foulkes, TCW recommends that readers immediately dispose of the following publications that they may have inadvertently kept in their attics since their childhood . . .
The Secret Seven and the Illegal Aliens: Peter finds out from his father that the government intends to house illegal immigrants at Torling Castle. The Secret Seven organise a demonstration on the road leading to the castle and with the help of Scamper the dog they prevent the invaders from taking residence. Sadly their act of defiance proves to be a hollow gesture as the illegals are sent to a five-star hotel in Tunbridge Wells.
Bunter the Brexiteer: The portly anti-hero of the Remove is briefly expelled by the Headmaster, the Reverend Locke, an arch ‘Remainer’. Bunter’s crime was to pour Evian water over Monsieur Charpentier, his French master, and insert insecticide into the lager of the German master, Herr Gans. It is said that it was this story that persuaded the wavering opportunist Boris Johnson to support the ‘Leave’ campaign in the 2016 referendum.
Five Go on the Lookout: Our intrepid band sneak out at night to scour the coast for illegal migrants. When they spot the intruders, they rush back to tell Horace Hacker, the Upper Fourth Form master. Unfortunately, he turns out to be an informant for Border Force UK. The boys are given detention.
Noddy is Arrested: After an argument with Master Tubby Bear about Noddy’s constant desire to run over the Skittles family, Noddy calls him ‘a sad little fatty from Transylvania’. Master Tubby Bear takes exception to the remark and Noddy is arrested by PC Plod for ‘racism and a hate crime’. This was the final Noddy book.
Biggles Goes to the Berlaymont: Our hero flies to Brussels and sneaks into the headquarters of the EU Commission to uncover the corruption and greed that is hastening the collapse of European civilisation. Despite being pursued through the building by burly Prussian henchmen he manages to escape with the help of cousin Algy who uses the roof of the building as a runway for his Sopwith Camel. The BBC refuse to cover the story.
Peter Pan and the Bureaucrats: The mild-mannered boy who never grows old is enraged by an EU Directive (2001/66/EC-Regulations for Flying Boys) that prohibits him and Tinker Bell from flying without completing a raft of red tape. He recruits other fairies to carry out aerial reconnaissance of EU premises at night to cause havoc with their filing systems.
The Little Mermaid Goes to War: Enraged by the illegal fishing by French and Spanish trawlers in the English Channel, the Little Mermaid gets help from some Big Mermaids to slash the nets of the offending boats by using razor shells. A dazed Emmanuel Macron seeks revenge but the slippery mermaids cannot be caught.
FOOTNOTE: Julian Foulkes is planning to sue Kent Police for wrongful arrest and unlawful interference in his right to liberty. The fund-raiser to help him is here.
