IT is true that since becoming Headmaster Mr Starmer has made several international trips to similar schools. These sorties, however, do not warrant some of the intemperate criticism that has been inaccurately levelled. Whilst 26 such visits might, to untutored observers seem excessive, nothing could be further from the truth. They are very much a vital part of the Headmaster’s duties and we would be grateful if ill-informed censure would now cease.
Slip of the tongue
We’ve all done it. Said something in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later. It was just such a slip – an unusual momentary lapse in the Headmaster’s normal sure-footedness, that led to some ridiculous aspersions being cast in Mr Starmer’s direction.
Having had a hectic few days’ travel and a small appliance catching fire in Headmaster’s Lodge, he was overheard walking around saying it was like ‘a school of strangers’. Many think he was referring to the large influx of overseas students that Rayner’s Lane has recently added.
Some detractors compared this observation to the now defunct BoJo Academy and its discredited Head of Classics Mr Powell. A lover of Virgil, he too made an ill-advised ‘off-the-cuff’ remark which led to his dismissal by the strict then-Principal Mr Heath.
Mr Starmer has rightly made a full apology for his error, and we would like to think that is the end of this matter.
United we stand
Rayner’s Lane has for generations enjoyed a community and solidarity firmly rooted in respect and ability. What a pity therefore to have witnessed the recent unedifying spectacle of many teaching staff taking issue with the Headmaster’s edicts. We will not stoop to naming names, but Ms Hillier, Ms Haigh and Ms Creasy and many others should not be surprised if promotion does not come their way.
Quite why so many colleagues felt emboldened to challenge the Headmaster is something of a mystery, yet, befitting his conciliatory manner, Mr Starmer has met with these so called ‘rebels’ and has now seen their point of view.
On a separate note, the numerous crudely printed posters that have recently appeared with a picture of the Headmaster, stating Past his sell-by date, have all been taken down. Any recurrence will be met with severe consequences.
Hitting the right notes
The school’s annual music gala has over the years garnered a great deal of interest, now attracting local families in large numbers. The performers drawn, in the main, from our own pupils, but occasionally augmented by outsiders have entertained in style for decades.
This year’s festival was a high-spirited affair with good weather and a selection of musical treats that offered something for everyone.
The Irish Troubles Studies Group, ‘Teacosy’, performed a well-received medley of classics such as Danny Boy and Paddy McGinty’s Goat which culminated with the all-time favourite lullaby From the River to the Sea – a homage to the river Liffey.
Sadly, this wonderful occasion was somewhat spoilt by the antics of one of the invited bands called Mr Vylan. The Headmaster himself had requested that they play one of his favourite songs, The Ears Are Alight, or to give it its correct title The Israelites. Mr Vylan took it upon himself to, as he called it, ‘update’ the lyrics and it was the amended chorus of ‘Death, Death to the IDF’ which some individuals hearing on the school’s Tannoy, objected to. Yes, whilst the audience loudly cheered and sang along, we attribute this to an overindulgence at Mr Jones’s Kool-Aid refreshment tent.
We have asked that Mr Davie, who competently handles Rayner’s Lane multimedia output, incorporates some ‘kill switch’ in future to avoid giving offence. Needless to say Mr Starmer has issued a fulsome apology which we are happy to print below.
‘Such a wanton display of appalling hate speech has no place in Rayner’s Lane. I have asked that steps are taken to prevent such a recurrence’.
Beyond the fringe
An enquiry that we are delighted to help with. Many dads have been asking where the Headmaster gets his hair so fashionably styled? After speaking with Mr Starmer, we can report that he is a regular customer at Brezhnev’s – one of the many barber shops on the high street.
Shoplifting
Lastly, there has been a surge in pilfering from the tuck shop since we made this a non-detention misdemeanour. Please be aware that the rumour going around that we are about to change the school song to Tom Jones’s hit Help Yourself is just that, a rumour.
