IT WAS my first visit to Bournemouth. In my imagination it was a retreat for colonels with their memsahibs, spinsters from Sevenoaks and superannuated solicitors from Stevenage. I envisaged putting greens, afternoon teas and gentle perambulations. I believed it to be the epitome of English tradition, manners and decorum.
Our CrossCountry train was delayed by over an hour (staff shortages). On leaving the station, a helpful heavily tattooed young lady advised us about the bus to catch to our hotel. As we waited for our ride I noticed that the Morebus information posters suggested that half of their passengers were ‘people of colour’. It also portrayed a dreadlocked ‘man of colour’ sitting alone on a local beach.
The short journey was interrupted by an altercation between a cyclist and the Sri Lankan bus driver who had come within inches of dismounting the aforesaid.
At the hotel we were greeted at reception by a young lady from Poland. The cleaning staff originated from Eastern Europe.
During an evening stroll in the nearby park we encountered a surfeit of ‘vibrancy’. Amplified African music blasted from one side of the arena whilst amplified Indian music wafted from the other. On reaching the impressive pier we noticed several small groups of young men representing various states from the Middle East and Africa. No doubt these ‘doctors and engineers’ will soon find gainful employment as registrars with the NHS, consultants for HS2 or operatives for Deliveroo. In the underpass a trio of what looked like South American ladies practised their salsa. A posse of bored policemen hovered.
On Sunday we attended mass at the beautiful Saint Peter’s parish church. We were joined for coffee after the service by a pleasant young woman from Colombia. She lives in the town with her husband who is Portuguese. Conversation was difficult, as despite having been in the country for two years she could barely speak a word of English.
On a bus journey to Poole the now familiar Turkish barbers, nail bars and vape shops were much in evidence.
Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole Council consists of no fewer than seven parties and five independents. It is run by a coalition in which the Liberal Democrats are the dominant partners. The council leader is Millie Earle. Despite being an enthusiast for all things ‘sustainable’ she flew to Cannes in March for a real-estate conference at the expense of council taxpayers. The area has distinguished links to the military, however the council recently decided to cancel their annual airshow. One of the reasons given was its impact on ‘climate change’.
Between 2005 and 2024 the constituency of Bournemouth East had the misfortune to be represented by the faux-Conservative and 77th Brigade Lieutenant Colonel Tobias Ellwood (no relation).
There may well be enclaves of retired colonels, spinsters and solicitors in Bournemouth but they were hard to spot amongst the more recent residents. Perhaps they have joined the exodus of the wealthy from our thieving government.
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