FOLLOWING the outstanding success of the propaganda film, Adolescence, the Government has commissioned a series of sequels and spin-offs with the intention of further demonising young working-class white boys. Each of the films will feature Stephen Graham, who identifies in the series as a person of colour.
The films are to be incorporated into the ‘Propaganda for Schools’ section of the National Curriculum from September 2025. The following films are the proposed sequels:
Adolescence 2
Stephen Graham plays the role of a fraught geography teacher. He is innocently referred to as a white man by a 13-year-old white pupil. Graham hears about this from a girl of colour who dislikes the white boy because of his spots. Graham loses control. He has a nervous breakdown, flinging atlases around the playground and throwing the classroom globe at a lollypop lady. The boy is arrested for harassment and sent to a young offenders’ institution. The teacher is awarded substantial damages and is off work for two years.
Adolescence 3
A Trans social worker, Stephen Graham, is tasked with helping the family of a white boy who was seen to sneer during a showing of Al Gore’s fantasy film, An Inconvenient Truth. The boy is seen to giggle when the social worker meets him for the first time wearing a blonde wig and fake breasts. To re-educate the boy, he is taken to a series of drag queen story sessions at his local library and forced to watch speeches by Ed Miliband. The film ends with the boy crying as he watches an ice cube melt.
Adolescence 4
It is Refugee Week at school. A 13-year-old white boy is caught by his teacher, Stephen Graham, wearing socks displaying Saint George’s Cross. The boy refuses to change his socks. An emotional Graham humiliates the boy in assembly before expelling him from school. The child is referred to an educational psychologist, who finds him a place at a special school for child racists. As a punishment, he has to collect food and clothes for refugees in northern France and clean rooms in hotels occupied by the newly arrived doctors and engineers. The boy realises the error of his ways and burns his socks while humming Kumbaya.
Adolescence 5
Through diligent research on the internet, a 13-year-old white boy is able to hack the computers on the Trident submarine HMS Vanguard. He launches the missiles to flatten Brussels, Paris, Berlin and Kiev. Remarkably, the rockets all work. Stephen Graham plays the part of the distressed officer in charge of the submarine’s security systems. The film focuses on the anguish that the young white boy has caused to Graham, whose career prospects have been irreversibly damaged. As a punishment the white boy is sent to live in Dublin.
And here are the proposed spin-offs:
Birth
Stephen Graham plays a newly qualified midwife (midhusband?). Graham’s first delivery is that of a white baby. As it emerges, the child immediately starts bawling. A distressed Graham regards the crying as criticism of his Jamaican heritage. He loses all reason and storms out of the delivery room to become a recluse. Later, he sells his story to The Guardian. The baby is immediately taken into care.
Pre-pubescence
In this gripping drama, two five-year-old white boys are playing marbles. A 17-year-old female person of colour insists on joining their game, despite having no marbles of her own. The boys are upset. Instead of allowing the girl to play, they run away, leaving the girl bereft. The single parent of the girl, played by Stephen Graham, vows to ensure justice for his daughter. In a performance laced with anger and pathos, he convinces the police to investigate the hate crime perpetrated by the two boys. Eventually, the boys are cornered by ten police officers and their marbles are thrown into a nearby river.
Pubescence
A father, played by Stephen Graham, is convinced that his son has a latent desire to be a girl. At every opportunity, he dresses the child in female attire and buys him Barbie dolls. At great expense, he takes him to a Taylor Swift concert. As the boy’s body begins to change with unfamiliar hair, smelly armpits and acne, he decides that the female life is not for him. The father has a tantrum and chastises the boy for his decision and the money he has wasted. The film explores how the father failed in his duty and what steps he could have taken to prevent his son from growing up as male.
