I READ Kathy’s weekly review on Sunday, a year to the day since my mother died, aged 99, peacefully at home in her own bed. Our vicar said the care and love surrounding my mother in her final weeks should be a blueprint for the future.
At the time her words barely registered, but later I pondered her words. ‘A blueprint for the future’ – what was she thinking? This to me was a natural death of an elderly lady at home. Admittedly there are three to four decades between the vicar and me, but obviously her experience differed greatly from my own.
When I embarked upon a nursing career in the 1960s, the start of the morning shift was a prayer. This was led by ward sister in her office. Previously this five-minute calm and thoughtful ritual had been in the centre of the long Nightingale ward, with the nurses on their knees. I cannot remember how or why this practice stopped.
Later, when ‘legal’ abortion was introduced on a pregnancy of less than 24 weeks gestation, rules surrounding the practice were strict. The woman in question had to be seen by two independent doctors and counselling was offered. Medical and nursing staff were allowed to excuse themselves from this surgery for religious or moral reasons. In my hospital, Matron refused to allow any student nurse to be present during the procedure.
Care of the dying was thought to be a special privilege. It was sometimes difficult if all side rooms were occupied and our end-of-life patient was in the corner of the Nightingale ward. (This was all taking place before the advent of hospice care.) We did our best to ensure privacy and relieve suffering. The hospital chaplain, on request, would be there with the patient and family whatever the hour.
My later experience was as a home midwife in a country district where the birth of a healthy baby was an untold joy.
I no longer recognise doctors, midwives and nurses, who have lost their autonomy while following government ‘evidence-based’ protocols and leaving the patient in second place.
During this last year Mother’s vicar and I have formed an alliance in an attempt to draw our local community, whatever their religious beliefs, into discussion of what is a normal birth and what is a normal death – planting seeds maybe, but past care practices should not be forgotten or dismissed. At the end of the day all humanity has purpose.
