AS A CITY blighted by gang warfare, violence and sectarianism, Edinburgh is the ideal location for Europe’s First Museum of Contemporary Palestinian Art. The newly opened exhibition will no doubt be a magnet for football fans and all who proudly sport the fashionable black-and-white keffiyeh.
The announcement that this is the first of its kind suggests that you need not worry about braving the streets of Edinburgh to view it as outlets will no doubt be springing up in a strife-ridden community near you.
Now that museum curators are consigning classical British and European art to their basements, theatre is mired in mediocrity and the public have seen through the dross that is presented as ‘modern art’, we can expect to see an increasing number of excitingly diverse cultural presentations and performances appearing in their place.
Coming your way soon . . .
The Houthi Ceremonial Sword Dancing Troupe
The dashing young men will display their proficiency with their traditional scimitars. As they chant ‘Death to America’ the tribesfolk will brandish their weapons in startling patterns. Members of the LGBTQ+ community are advised to sit at the back of the auditorium.
The Somalian Light Opera Ensemble
You will be transfixed by songs of derring-do on the high seas from a group who know what they are singing about. The show is loosely based on Gilbert and Sullivan’s renowned Pirates of Penzance but with extra gore and the female parts played by men (NOT trans!) The audience will be held hostage by the exuberance of the cast.
The Ukrainian Azov Players
As support for their conflict with Russia ebbs away, the Azov Brigade are channelling their energy and extremist views into a reprise of Mel Brooks’s masterpiece The Producers. This time the film will be made without the irony and satire of the original. It will of course include the famous song Springtime. . . but with amended lyrics:
Springtime for Zelensky and Ukrainia
Kharkov is happy and gay . . .
The Three Stooges (Night Train to Paris)
In this remake starring an international cast of the three half-wits Starmer, Macron and Merz, the trio find themselves ambushed in a railway carriage by journalists as they prepare for some high jinks. The three make fools of themselves and the film is only for the simple-minded.
An hour with ‘Jolly Al’ Jolani (The ‘I don’t believe it!’ Tour)
A must see to be believed comedy hour staring jihadi turned respected statesman Mohammed al-Jolani. Not long ago Jolani was the leader of a cut-throat band of thugs who terrorised and murdered Christians and others who got in their way. He was reviled by all and had a bounty on his head.
Now he has been transformed. He is the leader of a cut-throat band of thugs who are terrorising and murdering Christians and others who get in their way, but is receiving large sums of money and accolades from all those who used to revile him.
I don’t believe it!
